Being Transgender Is Not A Choice

So many people think that being trans is a choice, but I am here to set the record straight! Being transgender is NOT a choice, it is NOT something that you wake up one day and say ‘Oh, I fancy being trans today.’ It is something completely different.

When Did You Choose To Be Transgender?

It’s so bizarre being asked this, it’s not like being trans is something you just switch on one day. Figuring out who you are can take many years. Sometimes it may be a feeling that develops over time. Sometimes however, it may be a number of events that enlighten the trans person.

The only choice, when it comes to being transgender, is the choice of coming out. With over 370 transgender people murdered in 2021 already, coming out as transgender could be a life or death decision. Not only do you have to face the potential wrath and loss of friends and family, but you could also be opening yourself up to huge amounts of prejudice and hate.

Having the awareness of who you are, both in your own gender and sexuality at an early age, can be a massive help to your future life as your true self. So many more young people are finding the strength to come out and begin their journeys early these days than say 20 or 30 years ago.

Back in the 1990s, being gay would have invoked a butt tonne of hate and ridicule amongst school mates, and the thought of even be gender diverse would have been a definite no-no.

I remember how a local person who seemed to either be trans or maybe a cross dresser near our local school, would be mocked and taunted on a daily basis. ‘There’s the Tranny!’ would often be shouted as trash was thrown at them, and even though I look back and think how horrible and unaccepting times were back then, the truth is, this still goes on.

Why Is It More Acceptable To Spread Hate?

From what I see, there are so many celebrities using their ‘freedom of speech’ to not only spread hate, but also to encourage others to hate more. When high profile platforms tell people it’s okay to mock trans people, and to buy hate related products, the sheep will follow. When ‘she who shall not be named‘, went off on one (and continues to) online, the amount of hate towards trans women increased and it seemed to give those who wanted to cause hate more of an excuse to as well as validation and acceptance for their hatred. Celebrities and high profile people need to accept their influence and should be held more responsible. Yes, there is freedom of speech, but when your free speech causes hate, pain and even death to others, then there needs to some level of control.

Coming Out As Trans Later In Life

It’s true that coming out as transgender at any age can be difficult, but coming out later in life, as a trans woman especially, can be even more difficult. Making that choice to be the real you can be empowering, but later in life you may have built up a family, a career, and more that could be jeopardised if you were to come out. Coming out as a trans woman has extra challenges due to the huge amount of irreversible damage years of testosterone can do to you. Figuring out how to wear makeup, how to dress, confronting hair issues, and even medical transitioning can cause real headache. Having support from friends and family is essential, especially if you are married. Their support is needed more so than ever due to things that you should not say to trans people being used by so many on a daily basis.

So Why Be Transgender?

Again, it is not a choice to be transgender, the choice is simply how and when you come out, and who you come out to first. Those first people will determine how the beginning of your transition will go, they will either give you strength, or knock you down, hopefully it will be the former. All we can do as human beings, is spend our lives figuring ourselves out. Who are we? What do we like? Who do want to spend our lives with? Everyone will go through different stages of personal development, and making the decision to come out as transgender can take you on a very difficult but also magical path to who you deserve to be.

Read more posts about being transgender like 6 months on HRT and choosing a name, and don’t forget to follow us on Instagram and Facebook to see what we are getting up to! Jewellery in pics from KelZo Jewellery, follow on Facebook and Instagram.